Early Patterns, Inner Healing

There are countless ways we as humans can be raised on our planet. 

Try to always consider all the possible other ways that humans just like you were raised and by the many varied forms of parental guidances.  You represent just one perspective and were heavily influenced by oh so many others since birth.   How many teachers did you have, will have? Mom, dad, grandparents, siblings.

When it comes down to it, each individual who’s crossed your path, showed you their perspective.  Then in that moment, or series of moments, you chose to agree or disagree with how they reacted to an experience.   

Fear has been used as a guiding force for as long as humans have tried to explain the unknown. Long before we had language for it, fear helped keep people alert and alive. Over time, however, fear also became something that could be taught, inherited, and reinforced—sometimes intentionally, sometimes unconsciously.

Recognizing this is an important level of awareness. Many of the fears we carry are not the result of present danger, but of early learning. They are shaped by the environments we grew up in, the responses we witnessed, and the stories we were told about what was safe or unsafe.

From this perspective, fear isn’t a flaw or failure—it’s often a conditioned response. When fear arises from incomplete information or outdated protection strategies, it can quietly limit growth. Healing begins not by rejecting fear, but by understanding where it came from and whether it still serves us.

Fear shows up in many forms, often as a signal that something within us feels restricted or unheard. When we trace fear back to its origins, we often find moments where meaning was formed through relationship—times when we adapted to someone else’s response in order to stay connected or safe.

For example, imagine a child crying because they want ice cream and being told not only “no,” but that there is no reason to feel upset. In moments like these, the emotion itself can feel dismissed, even if no harm was intended. Over time, experiences like this can shape quiet agreements about what emotions are acceptable, when it’s safe to express them, and when it’s not.

Many people recognize versions of these early moments when reflecting inward. There’s no need to linger there or relive them in detail. They belong to the past, and their purpose now is not to assign blame, but to bring understanding. Awareness allows us to revisit old agreements with compassion and decide which ones still serve us today.

Take abandonment as one example. It can appear in many forms, some obvious and others more subtle. For many people, early experiences of separation, emotional distance, or unmet needs leave impressions that echo later in life. These early moments can become strong triggers—not because they are flaws, but because they were formed when we had limited tools and understanding.

Healing often begins by recognizing that those younger parts of us were doing the best they could at the time. As adults, we now have the capacity to offer something different: steadiness, presence, and reassurance. When approached with care, even painful memories can become sources of insight rather than overwhelm.

One gentle practice some people find helpful is simple self-acknowledgment. Standing in front of a mirror, meeting your own gaze, and offering yourself the patience or kindness that once felt missing can be a quiet but meaningful step. There’s no timeline for this work. Returning to it slowly—weeks or months later—often reveals new layers, each ready to be met when the time is right.

Healing isn’t about forcing progress. It’s about allowing space for understanding to unfold, at a pace that feels supportive and sustainable.

Much of this work is simple to understand. Where it becomes meaningful is in the practice—how we return to it, integrate it, and meet ourselves with consistency over time. That doesn’t require perfection or force, just willingness and patience.

Approached with curiosity and a bit of lightness, this kind of inner work can even be enjoyable. Growth doesn’t have to be heavy to be real. Kindness toward yourself—and others—goes a long way in making the journey sustainable.

And yes… the only thing we all ask is to not be an ass.